When I left the parking garage to go to my first shift I could feel my bravery slowly melting away like the wax of a burning candle. I kept asking myself why I decided to go to my first shift alone. I am horrible at directions and was terrified that I would get lost going by myself. In any case, I knew I had to, so I was off with my GPS on and my Map Quest directions in my lap (just in case). I arrived at the building 10 minutes early, completely typical for me. I was nervous to go inside because I didn’t know anyone or what I was doing, but I forced myself to step out of the car and go inside the building.
Once inside the office building, I was met by a nice woman who told me I needed to find Anne. I had no clue where to find her, but seconds later she showed up. She helped a woman from a hospital unload bags as I waited. I found myself aimlessly reading the Dining Out For Life Poster, and looking around at the inspiring words on the office walls, anything to seem occupied. When Anne finished with the bags, she told me to follow her into the kitchen. I was immediately overwhelmed with all the unfamiliar faces and activity. Anne simply told me to wash my hands while she got me an apron. I felt like it was the first day of volleyball my freshman year of high school. Everyone knew what they were doing, they all knew each other, and they were all good at what they were doing. Anne led me over to Tom, with his backwards Yankees cap and tattooed arms. He was busy making a huge batch of soup. He told me that I would be scooping soup that day. While he set up my scooping station, with four large containers of soup and hundreds of bowls and lids, I looked around the kitchen. There were people cooking pork and cookies and an older lady singing along with the blaring oldies, “I can’t get no…satisfaction.” She made me smile and feel more comfortable.
Tom scooped one example bowl of soup, and then I was off. At first I was really bad at it. I kept getting soup on the sides of the bowls and all over my fingers. My hands smelled like cream of mushroom for hours after I was done. After a while I got a little better at it, but I was still self conscious about my soup scooping abilities. A guy came over and very nicely told me I could gain more control if I “choked up on the ladle.” I did this, and 180 bowls of soup later, I think I am a pro. I was the only volunteer there that day, so I didn’t have any deep conversations with anyone. The employees that were there that day at first did not go out of their way to be nice to me, but by the end they were very pleasant and asked if I would be coming back. As I left I felt good about going by myself and my soup scooping that day.
This first experience at Project Angel Heart helped me to better understand civic engagement. I never really realized it, but my mom has been volunteering her entire adult life. She started the Partners branch in Gunnison something like 20 years ago, and has always been actively engaged in helping the youth of our community. Seeing her kind of volunteering with kids, I never really thought of how other types of volunteering worked. I have worked for Partners and other places in Gunnison, but I have never worked somewhere like Project Angel Heart. The scale of their operation surprised me. They not only had a kitchen but offices and all kinds of people diligently working away. Everyone was busy with their work, and not too concerned about a lost looking college student. I guess I expected because they help people, everyone there would be kind and welcoming. I found out quickly that they function much more like a business than a warm and fuzzy non-profit. People go and do their jobs, each a small part of a larger machine. I realized that this is what is most effective to serve as many people as possible. On Thursday, my job was to scoop soup into Styrofoam bowls, simple as that. It was a small job that helped a much larger cause. I guess I learned that volunteering doesn’t have to be glamorous and big. Just doing some job that seems insignificant helps an organization function overall. I didn’t get to see the people enjoying their cream of mushroom, but I did what was needed of me and I found out sometimes that is what is most important, not the self satisfaction.
2 comments:
Laura's experience at Project Angle Heart and her time spent in the kitchen seems very similar to mine. The nervous and anxious feeling that Laura felt upon arriving to Project Angle Heart was the same feeling I had. Going outside my comfort zone, this was a new community service activity that I had not yet participated in. However, was inside and working with fellow peers and other friendly volunteers, I realized that their was nothing to really worry about.
Although I did not face as much difficulties with ladling soup, the tasks at hand were still new to me, as well as the situation. There was plenty of time in which I thought I was going to screw up but mistakes go hand in hand when doing something new such as service learning. I recall one time, I was cutting carrots with Rori and David. Having a blast, I went Sammari on this carrot, cutting it into a dozen different pieces. Looking over at another volunteer, I saw that they were only cutting the tops and bottoms of the carrots off. Secretly sliding our mistake off the table, we laughed if off but as Laura pointed out, it takes time to adjust and adapt to new tasks and situations.
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